I seriously cannot believe it has been a year since I last posted here. I wish that I could say that I am fully healed, but I'm not. I will say though that overall I am better.
I have followed my doctors recommendations with positive results. I am able to function and work. But my life is far from normal- I still have to play the 12 spoons game daily- if you do not know the spoon theory, look it up. It explains what life is like with a silent, chronic health problem.
I've had nearly symptom free times but it always comes back no matter how hard I wish it away. I don't have the resources to see a Lyme specialist, so four days ago i began oral antibiotics on my own. I'm beginning with the standard doxy to begin with and plan to add cipro in the near future. The doxy should work on Lyme and the Cipro should work on the Bartonella.
Yeah I know it's risky doing this unsupervised but it seems to be a guessing game for the docs too. I am taking lots of probiotics to help waive off yeast problems. I was given yet another sign last night (I will explain in another post)about using Niacin and checking my gluten tolerance.
Until next time...
4/1/11
5/10/10
GAWD, my feet.
One of the weirdest and insanely agonizing things that happens to me health-wise concerns my feet. I get these hotspots on and in between my toes that first itch and then turn into burning, aching bumps about the size of a pea. The word "itch" does not do the sensation justice. It's more of a "If I could chop my foot off to relieve this discomfort and live to tell about it, I would seriously consider it" sensation.
No, it's not athlete's foot. As usual, it's a freaking medical mystery.
No, it's not athlete's foot. As usual, it's a freaking medical mystery.
5/8/10
5/6/10
My Messenger
I am going to make this as short and sweet as possible because I'm really tired at the moment, but this has been on my mind all day.
Anyone who's read through my posts (if there is such a person) has probably sensed my internal struggle- I struggle with the image of myself being a medical conspiracy theory lunatic who is pointing fingers at the white coats and as a person who is sensibly just trying to get well and get on with life. It eats me up sometimes- I'm afraid to talk to people about what's going on, yet have this need to talk about it. I don't want people to think I'm a hypochondriac starving for attention while at the same time I have this desire to have my condition recognized.
Here's the point of this-
I have times of self doubt as far as all this being related to my tick bite---I say to myself, "All this tick disease stuff is being hyped by loonies who think everyone has it. You've had three tests come back negative. It's something else."
BUT throughout my life, I've always been pushed along (positively) in life by listening to my instincts and what I call the voice of God. I've lived a very blessed life and it's all because of making decisions this way. My message concerning my health came unexpectedly from an unlikely source in February of this year.
I was having one of those "self doubt" days---am I really sick or crazy? is it really from a tick? maybe I've just worked myself up about this Lyme cause...
I walked into the library at the school I teach at and sat down at a computer. A student whom I teach, but really didn't know well approached me. Now this is a kid who really doesn't especially show me a great deal of attention- nothing special between us- he's in my PE class, rarely speaks to me, I rarely need to speak to him, he's not really into PE, etc.
He walks straight to me with a serious, but excited look on his face. "Coach, I've got to show you something in this book." At this time I was already thinking it was strange for him to approach me instead of his teacher or the librarian. I looked down at the page he was pointing to---it was a picture of a tick. I looked back up to him. He said, "This is a book about deer, but it says that deer ticks carry this disease that can make you really sick. Look at the picture of this rash it gave this person." At this point I was almost smiling because I knew he had just delivered me a message. At the same time I was totally freaked out. I did have the composure to ask him a quick question. "Brent, what made you want to tell me about this?" "I just thought you would like it."
Anyone who's read through my posts (if there is such a person) has probably sensed my internal struggle- I struggle with the image of myself being a medical conspiracy theory lunatic who is pointing fingers at the white coats and as a person who is sensibly just trying to get well and get on with life. It eats me up sometimes- I'm afraid to talk to people about what's going on, yet have this need to talk about it. I don't want people to think I'm a hypochondriac starving for attention while at the same time I have this desire to have my condition recognized.
Here's the point of this-
I have times of self doubt as far as all this being related to my tick bite---I say to myself, "All this tick disease stuff is being hyped by loonies who think everyone has it. You've had three tests come back negative. It's something else."
BUT throughout my life, I've always been pushed along (positively) in life by listening to my instincts and what I call the voice of God. I've lived a very blessed life and it's all because of making decisions this way. My message concerning my health came unexpectedly from an unlikely source in February of this year.
I was having one of those "self doubt" days---am I really sick or crazy? is it really from a tick? maybe I've just worked myself up about this Lyme cause...
I walked into the library at the school I teach at and sat down at a computer. A student whom I teach, but really didn't know well approached me. Now this is a kid who really doesn't especially show me a great deal of attention- nothing special between us- he's in my PE class, rarely speaks to me, I rarely need to speak to him, he's not really into PE, etc.
He walks straight to me with a serious, but excited look on his face. "Coach, I've got to show you something in this book." At this time I was already thinking it was strange for him to approach me instead of his teacher or the librarian. I looked down at the page he was pointing to---it was a picture of a tick. I looked back up to him. He said, "This is a book about deer, but it says that deer ticks carry this disease that can make you really sick. Look at the picture of this rash it gave this person." At this point I was almost smiling because I knew he had just delivered me a message. At the same time I was totally freaked out. I did have the composure to ask him a quick question. "Brent, what made you want to tell me about this?" "I just thought you would like it."
5/5/10
Time to bitch. Woke up with sinus pressure and infection, stomach cramps on my way to work, arthritis pain in my right hand (so much that I couldn''t make a fist) outta nowhere, the mental capacity of a 7 month old chimpanzee, a panic/anxiety attack at 4:00 PM, unquenchable thirst the past 24 hours, stomach cramps again accompanied by deep tissue pain in my left upper thigh all evening. And still I had a good day.
We are all gearing up and looking forward to visiting my brother and sister-in-law in Estes Park, Co mid June. With my improvement in health, I've been able to do some exercise. I'm hoping to be fit enough to do some hiking and rock climbing by June 12. I've been walking about 15 minutes a day, strength training using my physio ball, and managed some short bouts of light jogging and jump roping. I'm working very slowly and listening to my body. I need to push it, but not too much. If things keep going as they have the past week and a half, this weekend I'm going to up my cardio intensity a bit. In September there is an adventure race in Alabama I'd like to complete---just to prove to myself that I am going to beat this thing. Never done anything like it before, but always daydreamed about it. Time to start kicking butt and taking names, if my body will allow me, that is. PEACE
We are all gearing up and looking forward to visiting my brother and sister-in-law in Estes Park, Co mid June. With my improvement in health, I've been able to do some exercise. I'm hoping to be fit enough to do some hiking and rock climbing by June 12. I've been walking about 15 minutes a day, strength training using my physio ball, and managed some short bouts of light jogging and jump roping. I'm working very slowly and listening to my body. I need to push it, but not too much. If things keep going as they have the past week and a half, this weekend I'm going to up my cardio intensity a bit. In September there is an adventure race in Alabama I'd like to complete---just to prove to myself that I am going to beat this thing. Never done anything like it before, but always daydreamed about it. Time to start kicking butt and taking names, if my body will allow me, that is. PEACE
5/4/10
I was just sitting here and realized how much my pain levels & frequency have gone down. I still have some spells, but there are days between episodes now instead of hours. How awesome is that? In turn, my mood has improved too- I would say that I border on being pleasant to be around a majority of the time or maybe everyone else has stopped being so damn annoying ; )
4/30/10
Damn Ice Cream
I have been hardcore about eliminating my food allergens with one exception: ice cream. I have had ice cream three times this week and each time I never thought a thing of it until I was done or almost done with my cone or cup. I swore ice cream off Tuesday and Wednesday after slipping up- I got a headache both days immediately after eating it and got a mild achy feeling around my body. Wednesday, after forgetting I'm not suppose to eat it, I surrendered to it. Okay, I am obviously not able to handle this stuff. I can't eat it. Stop forgetting that. Well, Thursday was a success. No ice cream (it helped it wasn't available). Tonight, I slipped again. It was offered, I accepted, ate it, got a headache and remembered. Ooops. I'm not suppose to eat that. NO MORE ICE CREAM. I can do this.
What's weird is that I can eat yogurt, no problem. I had it for breakfast this morning and felt great afterwards. I don't know. I know this isn't interesting, but hey this ain't about you.
What's weird is that I can eat yogurt, no problem. I had it for breakfast this morning and felt great afterwards. I don't know. I know this isn't interesting, but hey this ain't about you.
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